I don't believe this.

So. I've always enjoyed being self-centered and boastful in this blog, but this particular post is one where I really actually am freaked out over these days' past blessings.

The place where I teach provides me with a guardian angel (in a form of a fairly attractive man). I've been with him ever since I first entered the place, he trained me to be a teacher and made sure I don't screw up in class. It's rather comforting to know you have somebody you can turn/ask/wail/look for solution to whenever there's a problem, class-wise.

And then, suddenly it happened.
Yesterday I was happily driving along the road when my manager called.
Turns out my dear guidance is quitting, and she wanted me to replace him.
This means I have to be responsible to made sure other teachers don't screw up in class, and I have to train newbies. Modify them into qualified teachers that my company can proudly sent out.
This is a great honor and I should be really, really flattered and thankful.

But here's the thing.
I'm not ready for this yet!!

I'm too young for this. I'm not that good yet. Really. I mean, I still hand in my reports late. I still come to class without preparation. I still get static uncomfortable moments in my classes.
This new task, though exciting and very, very cool, is really intimidating and I'm not handling the challenge very well.
I really don't think I'm the best person for this job. Don't get me wrong, this is something I've always wanted, ever since I started working there. But I do know that I have to reach a certain level first and I'm just not there yet.
This is crazy.

I remember writing this post when I said I've reached one of my dreams (being a teacher) before I'm 20. At that time being offered to guide other teachers was merely a glimpse of a dream. Now I find myself reaching that dream, and guess what?
I'm still not 20 yet! (Had this offer been given three weeks later, this post would not have existed).
I'm nineteen years old. The label "teenager" can still be put upon me. I'm just a kid. I watched Nickelodeon and Disney Channel whenever I have free time. I fascinate over floating soap bubbles. I relate myself to Chandler Bing.
I'm too young to be imparting wisdom to other people!

I know I'm supposed to be grown up and accept this change as an enlighting experience. I know I'm supposed to gloat and tell all my friends about it and start counting the extra money I'll get.
But, quoting a Cathy comic, are any of us ever prepared to watch our dreams came true?