So I was at a mall the other day (alone of course), and there was this new gorgeous jewelry stall. Looking at the owner, however, I assumed this was an expensive stall.
Now first of all, I hate it when people don’t put price tags on their products. It’s hard to believe that there aren’t more important things a store owner can do rather than calling out prices (redundantly, I might add) every time a customer is nearby. What makes this even more ridiculous is how this usually happens in an expensive place. So when a customer ask for the price of an item, it’s usually some really high price that most customers probably can’t afford anyway, and now the poor soul who asked for the price in the first place had to find a way to back off without seeming like they can’t afford the item. Of course this is especially hard because the store owner would’ve assumed that the customer was already interested in the item, since the customer had the guts to ask for the price, and would start thinking up ways to persuade the customer. So now you have an overly excited seller and a nervous buyer. At this stage, whether the customer buys the product or not, someone’s still going to leave feeling slightly betrayed. So why not avoid all the hurting and let the price tags do their job?
I’m starting to lose focus here. So anyway I was at this stall, and I was looking at this necklace that has no price tag (obviously you would’ve guessed that, why else would I be ranting on about it?). The stall’s owner was busy manhandling a customer, a woman with heavy makeup and excessive use of hairspray. First clue this was an expensive stall. I recognize who the owner is right away because he was talking excitedly about the product (very rare to see a mere store keeper do that), and he was giving away name cards with a website address on it. Second clue this was an expensive stall.
I knew the necklace I had my eye on was going to be outrageously expensive, and if I asked, I was going to have to think of a way to graciously walk away, but I was still curious anyway. Plus the woman with heavy makeup was gone and the owner was approaching me. So I decided to try something.
I asked for the price in English.
And as I don’t live in an English-speaking country, this immediately startled the owner, causing him to stutter a bit before coming up with a coherent, and English, answer. The price was indeed out of my league, so I replied with long complex sentences, which startled the owner even more. At the silence moment of him figuring out what to do next, I escaped.
Bottom line, I love those moments when you pretend to be someone else and people believe it.
Now I’ve actually done this many times before. Sometimes I pretend to be a native English speaker in places where you don’t normally speak English, so I’ll stand out and get special treatment, or I pretend to be a native English speaker in places where everybody else speak English, so I’ll blend in and not get “special” treatment. And it’s not limited in language too. Once I told a guy at this salon that I was married, and the whole time he did my hair we talked about marriage life. My biggest lie was when I told my students that I was 23 years old (when I was really 19), and for the next one year, every time I walked into that class I was a 23-year-old teacher, minutes away from my bachelor degree, with a 2-year teaching experience (when I was really a 19-year-old freshman, and this class was the second class I ever taught).
I love doing this because in a different personality, everything you normally do would seem different. Just like the case of the necklace at the stall.
Before I go any further, I’ve had some complaints saying that I acted too much and people don’t know who the real me is. This is weird because I don’t even think this is something you can complain about. Why can’t it be that the real “me” is someone who likes to play someone else? Yes, I know that this may just be a phase of identity searching and ultimately I may have to settle being just one person for the rest of my life. I know that this may also be a form of denial, where I don’t want to accept who I really am, and I’m showing signs of immaturity, as in “unnecessarily trying out weird stuff”. I understand that all these complaints are logical, and I also understand that until I find someone who can accept my “condition”, it’s going to be very hard for me to be in a relationship. Why am I suddenly talking about relationship, you ask? Because I got some of these complaints from my ex.
Anyway. Change mood back to “excited”.
The biggest fun of pretending to be someone else is watching people then form their opinion about you. I find it really funny that when you go to your class wearing tomboy clothes for one day and ultra-feminine the next, people will get confused and ask me what my style really is. I don’t understand why it confuses people that I try out different things!
All this came to mind when I was going to this conference a week ago. Conferences are particularly fun because that’s the best place to try out being a different person. Nobody knows who you are, but everybody’s eager to get to know you. Perfect.
Strangely, I didn’t have to do much to confuse people at this conference. After 24 hours a guy actually came up to me and said, “You know, at first glance I thought you were a Filipino or Malaysian (which I’m not), but then you started talking about this exotic food (which happened to come from my country), and now you’re sitting at a table that says ‘Poland’(which I did because I was accompanying my Polish friend)! So where are you from, really?”
Now I’ve never met this guy in my life, and this question shocked me for two reasons: a) I didn’t realize I was creating such a varied state of persona, which confused people, and b) I didn’t realize there are people who care so much to be confused in the first place! Apparently, there's such a big expectation of you being one person only, that when you're not, complete strangers will notice.
So you see, all of this equals fun.
Let’s take it to another level. Every time I switched to a new school, I have the chance to be a completely new person, and if I succeed, everybody in the new school will automatically assume that this is the way I’ve always been. This last bit can be quite annoying. I’m a believer that the way you evolve over the years will add depth to your personality, so if I’m assumed to have always stayed the same, it felt like I’m assumed as a shallow person. During elementary years my family’s financial condition was not excellent, and it showed, and even though it’s much better now, people I know from elementary still looked at me with a certain state in mind. I find it equally annoying that in my university, some people assumed I had always been well off since I was little, which is not only totally untrue but also made me look like I can’t live below the standard in which I’m living now.
Annoying as it is, at this point you can still have fun by doing things people wouldn’t expect “you” (the way they know you) would do...like talking knowledgeably about Dominatrix videos if you always dress conservatively. Realize that you’re most likely to have all these contradicting elements inside you. Don’t suppress the minor elements, celebrate each one of them. Show your evil / angel side periodically. When you’re good at it, show it simultaneously. Watch your friends go, “Wow, I didn’t know you’re that kind of person”.
Honey, I’m always the kind of person you didn’t expect me to be.